I guess you could say I'm a person of free will. I like to know that i have the choice to say no, and to say yes. I feel like everyone around me has different opinions on what I'm doing, that my mind is bombarded with a million different voices, and i can no longer hear my own. Or God's for that matter. I feel like my life is becoming more and more busy, and it's getting me nowhere, and I'm achieving nothing. Everything I'm doing is for everyone else, and i no longer have time for me. I have no time to sit and ponder life anymore, and actually think about what it is I want. Everyone is making decisions for me, and i feel like I'm letting down the people i love the most. Simply because I'm too busy.
This is not the life that i want. I don't want to be too busy, to the point where i have no time for the important things. I want to sit and enjoy the sunshine while its around, I want to explore op-shops and find treasures, I want to sit in my room and turn up the worship music and sing at the top of my voice. I want to laugh until I'm in tears, I want to go see a band i've never heard of and love every minute of it. I want to dance until I simply can't move anymore. I want to stay up all night, and sleep all day. I want to eat ice-cream and build a sand castle. I just want Simple. I want to read Alice and Wonderland a million times over. I want to see my best friend more. I want to drink tea. I want to take a million photos and cover my walls in memories. I want time to read the bible. I want to spend quality time with the people i love. These are the things that make me happy. These are the things that make me who i am. I don't want busy, I don't want serious, and i certainly don't want complicated. I need simple.
I need simple.